huh

Most of the time I don't feel anything anymore.
What used to shock me has become significant to my idea of 'exciting'. I like things I didn't used to like or maybe I liked them all along but didn't come out until now, and the things I used to like have dulled down to a faint curiosity, and by those things I mean rainbows, money, family, well-being, the welfare of others and unicorns cantering on cotton candy borders.
Sometimes at random, I will feel a burst of foreign emotion that later reveals itself; then I'm shocked that I actually feel it and that I remember it. And before I can decipher it's triggering, it's gone. It doesn't matter anyway because if it did, I would feel like that more frequently. It's like my empathy is trying to surface but is held down by rigor-mortise of decaying used-to-wanna-fit-in.  Screw that, I like this tugboat a lot more.
The water is calm. Want to surf?
Hessie used Surf!
A wild Tentacruelworld appeared!

Numb, numb, numb, dead, numb, tired, exhausted, hyperactive, happy as FUCK, then dead again. Reincarnated almost, dead, dead, dead, numb, dead, pissed off as FUCK, then dead, then depressed then dead and numb, and talking only to Myra.

A wild Emotion appeared!
Hessie used Teleport.
Hessie fled from the battle.

Hessie used Rare Trust.
Hessie grew to Level Nothing...?


Tonight I giggled all the way home, even though I was lying in bed the whole time but I literally smelled the magnetic evening on asphalt, could see the sun's passing wave as the moon stomped it down behind the trees in the distance.
I giggled because there is a band called The Child Molesters; and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sure their music is good if you just listen, and not judge.
...