I don't care

I hang my bare tits out the window at midnight.
I did it tonight because my dog was barking and because I was pissed off. I think there was a rapist or a burglar trying to break into my neighbour's house and I don't care.



The neighbours, they tell me and my mother that they were robbed of their antique gold jewelry a while back, and that's why they installed the wooden gate across the width of their driveway. Tonight the wooden gate is wide open, and my dog is standing at the fence that separates the properties barking her head off.
I tell her to shut the fuck up. I think I see shadows, but I always see things and that's how I know now not to trust anyone. My tits are still hanging out the window. What if my sister sees? I really, really, really don't care. If she is ashamed of breasts, I will gladly cut hers off for her and sell them as thin chicken cutlets at the supermarket.
My neighbours don't usually leave their gate open because, well, the point of installing it in the first place makes it not make sense. Still, I hang my tits out the window because I like laughing at the shadows. I learned to stop hiding and that makes me giggle. What if the pedophiles and robbers see? I don't care.
My father, from the other side of the house, also yells out to the dog to shut the fuck up (in Tagalog) which she does for two whole seconds before starting up again. My sister storms out of her room and says something to someone but I'm not really listening. That little bitch and her attitude are not of my concern.
I've put my robe back on because her attitude actually does irritate me. I ask her if she's okay, and she answers back in a snotty teenage fashion. Spoiled bitch, that one is.

The burglars left when I came outside to smoke.
Water drinks the space in my stomach where my stomach is supposed to consume my food which I barely consume. My throat is as dry as my spit on summer's asphalt. I shit more than I eat and dare I say, I don't care?
Does a list of people arranged in a particular way within a family environment depict an opinion reflecting towards me, a subliminal message or a product of random selection due to favouritism or basis of personal judgment?
If it is none of the above, it means the world is dead and I don't care, because I am too.
Wow, these ropes won't constrict my arms forever. It'll be just like the old days, where I lost my cool which was replaced by scorching adrenaline as I beat someone up with no control. Usually it was my little sister or pathetic father.
It was like being in a dream with numbness and never-ending anger that fuels every blow. You see only white, and a blur of their face which turns into six faces and eventually none as they bolt out of your sight and you snap out of it. You kiss the wall goodnight, and you take to your room to paint your eyes with skin.
It's the middle of the day; but now it's midnight. And somehow, the urge is a lot stronger than it used to be. I don't care, so I'll let it be.